Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
