just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
