So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
