I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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