Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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