with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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