I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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