I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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