he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
