Im at strip club and am horny
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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