I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
