The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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