Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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