What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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