the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
