Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Randomize