I seem to have left my pride at pride
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize