There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
