you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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