Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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