So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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