I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
