Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
and i looked up. we had an audience...
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize