Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
