WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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