i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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