I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
