North Korea, Best Korea!
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
