I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
