WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
