so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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