Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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