I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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