i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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