I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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