Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
