Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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