You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
