make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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