do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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