I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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