All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
