I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
