she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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