Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
