So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
