did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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