i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
