I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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