I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
