Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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