do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Randomize
