apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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