can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I think people are normalizing furries
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize