Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
