entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
