Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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