Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
