Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
