So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
