Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
