So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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